At 18, you are expected to know what career you want. At 25, you may be asked when you are getting married. By 30, society often expects you to have a stable career, financial security, a home and a clear plan for the future.

For many young people, adulthood can feel less like a journey of discovery and more like a race against time.

Young people are under considerable pressure to have their lives figured out at an increasingly early age.

This pressure does not come from one source. It is produced by a combination of academic competition, social media, family expectations and economic uncertainty.

Young people are encouraged to succeed quickly, compare themselves constantly and make major life decisions before they have necessarily had the opportunity to understand themselves fully. The result is not simply uncertainty about the future, but financial stress, anxiety and a growing fear of falling behind.

This does not mean that ambition, hard work or high expectations are harmful. Goals can give young people direction and motivation. The problem begins when society treats one particular timeline as a definition of success and makes young people feel that they have failed if their lives do not follow it.

From an early age, young people receive messages about what successful adulthood should look like. They are encouraged to perform well in school, obtain qualifications, find a good job, become financially independent and eventually build a family.

These goals are not unreasonable. However, the pressure surrounding them can make young people believe that every stage of life has a deadline.

Academic achievement is often the first area where this pressure becomes visible. Students may feel that their examination results will determine the rest of their lives.

A young person who does not get the expected grades may begin to believe that they have already fallen behind their peers. University students can experience similar pressure when they have not yet had enough experience to know what they actually want.

Research demonstrates that academic pressure is not merely an individual feeling. A 2024 WHO/Europe report, based on almost 280,000 young people aged 11, 13 and 15 across 44 countries and regions, found that the proportion of adolescents reporting pressure from schoolwork increased, particularly among older girls.

Among 15-year-olds, 63% of girls reported feeling pressured by schoolwork, compared with 43% of boys (World Health Organization).

These figures are important because academic pressure can become the foundation for later expectations. Young people receive messages that may move from asking, “Will I pass my exams?” to “Will I get into university?”, then “Will I get a good job?” and eventually, “Am I successful enough?”

The pressure, therefore, does not necessarily disappear when a young person leaves school. It can simply change form.

Consider a university graduate who spends several years studying, only to find that securing a stable job is difficult.

While searching for employment, they may see former classmates announcing promotions, new businesses or international opportunities online. Even when their circumstances are completely different, comparison can create the feeling that they are too slow.

The problem is not that young people have goals. The problem is the belief that those goals must be achieved through a strict timetable.

Social media has added another dimension to this pressure. Platforms allow people to observe the lives of hundreds or thousands of other people every day. They see photographs of graduations, expensive clothes, cars and houses.

The difficulty is that social media usually shows outcomes rather than processes.

A person may post a photograph celebrating a new job without showing the months of rejection that came before it. Someone may post pictures of a successful business without showing the financial difficulties behind it. A young couple may share photographs from their wedding without discussing the years of uncertainty that preceded it.

This creates an incomplete picture of reality. Young people are comparing their ordinary, unfinished lives with other people's carefully selected highlights.

Research supports the idea that social media can contribute to these pressures. A 2025 Pew Research Center survey found that 27% of teenagers said social media makes them feel worse about their own lives. The figure was higher among girls, at 34%, compared with 20% among boys. The survey found that 39% of teenagers felt overwhelmed by drama on social media, while 31% experienced pressure to post popular content.

These findings do not mean that social media is entirely harmful. The same Pew study found that 74% of teenagers said they felt social media helped them stay connected to what was happening in their friends' lives, while 63% said it gave them a place to express their creativity (Pew Research Center).

The issue, therefore, is not simply that young people use social media. It is the way constant exposure to other people's achievements can distort their understanding of what normal life looks like.

A 21-year-old scrolling through social media may see someone of the same age travelling internationally, earning a large income or running a successful business. Without knowing the person's circumstances, it is easy to think, “What am I doing wrong?”

That question can be more damaging than the comparison itself. It transforms someone else's achievement into evidence of one's own failure.

Social media is only part of the problem. Expectations from family and society can be equally powerful.

In many families, young people are encouraged to pursue careers that promise financial stability and social respect. Parents may want their children to become doctors, lawyers, engineers, accountants or successful business owners because they believe these careers offer security. Often, these expectations come from love and concern. Parents want their children to have opportunities that they themselves may not have had.

However, good intentions do not always eliminate pressure.

A young person may choose a university programme because it satisfies their parents rather than because it reflects their own interests. Another may feel ashamed of taking longer than expected to graduate. Someone who is unemployed may avoid family gatherings because they fear questions about their career.

The pressure can also extend beyond education and employment. Young adults may be expected to become financially independent, buy property, get married and have children within a particular period.

The difficulty is that there is no universal timetable for adulthood.

Some people discover their career interests at 18. Others discover them at 28 or 38. Some people marry young, while others choose to marry later, or not at all. Some become financially independent immediately after university, while others require support for several years.

The WHO/Europe research also highlights the importance of supportive relationships. Its 2024 findings showed that the proportion of adolescents reporting high levels of family support declined from 73% in 2018 to 67% in 2022. The report found that people who felt supported by both family and peers reported better mental health and wellbeing outcomes than those with limited support (World Health Organization).

This suggests that the role of families should not simply be to tell young people what they must achieve. Families can make a significant difference by providing encouragement while allowing young people room to make decisions, change direction and learn from mistakes.

There is an important difference between saying, “I believe you can achieve great things,” and saying, “You must achieve these things by this age.”

The first creates encouragement. The second can create fear.

The pressure to have life figured out is particularly serious because it exists alongside difficult economic conditions.

Young people are entering adulthood in an environment where housing, education and everyday living costs can make financial independence difficult. As a result, some young people are expected to achieve traditional markers of adulthood while facing economic conditions that make those achievements harder to reach.

Deloitte's 2036 Gen Z and Millennial survey, which included respondents from around the world, found that 48% of Gen Z respondents and 46% of millennials said they did not feel financially secure. More than half of both groups are living from paycheque to paycheque, and more than one-third struggled to cover their living expenses each month. The survey also found that more than 80% identified either their day-to-day finances or their long-term financial future as factors contributing to anxiety or stress.

These figures demonstrate why simply telling young people to “work harder” is an incomplete response.

Imagine a recent graduate who has completed university, found an entry-level job and is working hard. They may be unable to afford their own home or support a family immediately. Their lack of financial independence does not necessarily indicate laziness or poor planning. It may reflect the economic circumstances in which they are beginning adulthood.

Financial pressure can also affect the decisions young people make about their futures. A person may remain in a job they dislike because they cannot afford to leave. Another may postpone further education because of its cost. Someone else may delay moving out of their parents' home because rent is too expensive.

These pressures have an emotional dimension. When people constantly feel that they are behind, ordinary uncertainty can become anxiety.

The World Health Organization reports that approximately one in seven adolescents aged 10–19 globally experiences a mental health condition. It also identifies pressure to conform with peers and difficulties associated with identity as factors that can contribute to stress during adolescence.

It would be inaccurate to claim that all mental health difficulties among young people are caused by pressure to succeed. Mental health is influenced by many factors. However, the evidence shows that young people are navigating genuine academic, social and economic pressures during an important stage of their development.

If young people are under pressure to have their lives figured out, the answer should not be to remove ambition from their lives. Instead, society needs to redefine what progress means.

Success should not be measured only by how quickly someone reaches a particular milestone.

A young person who changes their university course after discovering that their original choice was wrong has not necessarily failed. A graduate who takes time to find the right career has not wasted their education. Someone who lives with their parents while saving money is not automatically unsuccessful. A person who changes careers in their late twenties or thirties has not necessarily made a mistake.

These are all legitimate parts of growing up.

There is also a value in uncertainty. Young adulthood is a period when people are supposed to develop their identities, discover their interests and learn how to make independent decisions. Expecting someone to know exactly who they are and what they want before they have had the opportunity to experience different possibilities is unrealistic.

At the same time, young people should not be encouraged to abandon responsibility. Financial planning, education, career development and personal goals remain important. The healthier approach is to pursue these things without turning every setback into a judgment about one's worth.

A person can have a plan without having every detail of their life decided.

The pressure placed on young people matters because the consequences can extend beyond individual stress. If an entire generation begins to believe that adulthood is a competition, people may become afraid of taking risks, changing direction or admitting that they need help.

Young people need room to fail without feeling that failure has permanently defined them.

They also need realistic expectations. Telling a young person that success is possible is valuable. Telling them that success must happen quickly, and that everyone is already achieving it, is very different.

Perhaps the most useful question is therefore not, “Why haven't you figured out your life yet?”

A better question is, “What are you learning about the life you want?”

The change in language matters. It recognises that life is not a test that everyone must finish at the same time.

Young people are under pressure to have their lives figured out, but the pressure is not simply a product of young people's impatience or lack of resilience. It is shaped by academic competition, social expectations, carefully curated images on social media and genuine financial uncertainty.

The evidence shows that many young people are experiencing significant pressure. At the same time, ambition and high expectations can be positive when they are accompanied by support, realistic opportunities and freedom to choose one's own path.

Perhaps society needs to stop treating adulthood as a checklist.

There is no single age at which a person must have a perfect career, the perfect income, the perfect relationship or the perfect plan. Life does not follow one timetable.

Young people do not need to have life figured out. They need the time, support and freedom to figure it out.

The author is a thought leader and very passionate about writing on social issues and matters affecting everyday life.